After sitting in silence and avoiding looking at each other, I asked her, ‘What do you want to do?’ ‘We could try couples counseling, which would mean you’d have to open up about what’s going on and is something you obviously have no interest in doing,’ she said. Good. She was fishing. What I wanted to say was, ‘Geez, give me some time. You’re only 10 minutes into your ambush.’ Instead, I said, ‘I’d really like to invoke the 24 hour rule and sort through what we need to say to each other.’ ‘Fine,’ she said as she got up from her chair and walked out of the room. It wasn’t like, ‘Fine, that sounds reasonable and fair.’ It sounded more like, ‘Fine. I’ve got you’re your balls in my purse anyway.’ I spent the better part of the afternoon holed up in my study assessing the pros and cons of really making my marriage work, or if I could find smarter ways of being with Andrea, or if I should leave her for a fresh start with Andrea. Yes, the kids were a factor — a big factor — but it. At some time during the night or early in the morning, she had slipped out of the house. I sat in my recliner, with my knees pulled to my chest. So many mixed emotions swirled in my head that I thought I was going to have an emotional crisis. There was the emptiness in my arms, where Jennifer had felt so good. There was the lingering confusion of what course my sexuality was going to take now. No more did I doubt my longing for a woman’s touch, but what would happen when I met a man that stirred me deep in my core. Then there was Jennifer. What would she ask of me now and what would I ask of her. She had alluded to showing me more of the Sapphic skills but how far did she go? I had read some Sapphic novels that almost frightened me with the intensity of their actions. I wanted no part of that. With a sigh, I rose from the chair to start my day. As I showered, I envisioned Jennifer mewling in passion as I bathed her. It didn’t help a bit to take away the longing that ate at me. .
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